In real life, I was dangerously close to getting my power shut off this week. Fortunately I was able to come up with the money to pay it.
But last night I had another powerful dream which gave me a sense of some energies I'm disowning in my work. In the dream I woke up, which gave the impression that I was really wide awake, and I went to turn the lights on and could not. The overhead light was off, and one small oven light shone, but there was a sense that the power had been shut off. In the dream I knew I had paid the bill but somehow felt helpless to fix this conundrum. I was unable to see things in my apartment, and my place felt as though it did not belong to me. I wandered around for a while, frightened. And then, suddenly, the lights and tv and everything popped on with a mechanical roar and I felt a wave of relief.
Here is an interesting piece in relation to voice dialogue and my personal process. Because my life has been rather unstable financially these past few months I have a feeling that I have a self that keeps me together with a "everything's going to be ok, it will all workout, you've got control" voice. This dream facilitated me into opposite: a sense that everything would NOT be ok, that all was lost, that i had no power to fix things. Curiously, or not, this was the exact energy I needed in my performance a few days ago. I'm not sure I fully tapped into it, but this dream delivered on the energetic present in the piece.
No comments:
Post a Comment